Feedback needed for the story of the game

Alex /

Hi guys. The intro story of the game is somewhat finished and was done by a friend of ours that has better english skills then us .Some minor tweaks will be made in the next few days to make it a bit more readable (adding a few more commas where they’re needed and other minor tweaking). If you got some time to read and the mood for it, I’d appreciate an opinion on the story below :




The world has changed. Under the heavy hand of history, land is changing its shape, people are changing their thoughts and words are changing their meanings. An older concept is being brought back to life: power – the measure of all things.

The same reason and force that once made people unite – creating tribes at first, large armies later – is now tearing families apart. Power makes a man gain a class, a place in existence’s vast memory; this is the best way for winning an identity.

For people are the weakest, when the illusion of power becomes their psychosis and the imaginary becomes their first nature. They become vampires – not the legendary ones – seeking a blood that gains the view of each one’s desire and they would joyfully give their lives for that purpose. In the altar in which Evil had made its moves onward world domination through swords and fire, there are also named the humans chosen to make this possible.

The Ancient Stones speak in great silence of an alliance of brave men, Fate of the Rose, ruled by four brothers that, hundreds of years ago, kept the flag of freedom against obedience to the tyrants of the world, the emperors of the Dark Empire. The alliance was flawless, for the spiritual dimension of its leaders were all the pieces needed for a glorious omnipresence: the Trader – well developed capacity of weighting not only goods, but also situations and a precise sense of numbers; the Priest – strong in his beliefs, caretaker of the beliefs of people seeking advice and direction; the Warrior – courageous and very skillful in battle, he enclosed within himself the knowledge of weapons; the last one is the Barbarian – resembling in some ways the Warrior, he was endowed with great physical strength and great impact over the enemies, due to his numerous armies, attacking with rage and lust for glory. These were the four element of a powerful mechanism that stood in chaos and anarchy’s way for years.

In their last great victory against human evil, they heard of a relic with great power, the Scepter of Ur, an artifact that could unite and disunite humans under a sole commandment. Right before the alliance got to the last bastion of the Dark Empire, one of the Dark Lords displaced the Scepter in four pieces and buried them in four corners of the world. Assuming that the destruction of this instrument will guard peace and freedom, the four brothers departed, one in each corner of the four.

After finding them, one after another, the brave knights succumbed to the desire of being for themselves rulers of the peace and freedom they desired. They have settled in each corner they looked for the components of the scepter and gave birth, from their own inner spark, on the one hand, to four great kingdoms: The Papal State, The Hanseatic League, Valachia and the Mongol Empire and, on the other hand, to an irreversible separation between them.

Old family ties are forgotten, ideas and feelings are put behind and the Four are now in quest for ultimate power but, unlike other times, for their own. Because none of them wanted to unite their kingdoms by will, a war is now imminent. The only good thing – but an expensive one – the war and the wish for more ever brought is evolution. Civilizations were forged and conquered inside war rooms, a certain kind of competition developed between opposite sides, making them climb higher on the scale of human life complexity. As time passes, the four kingdoms get bigger, stronger, they develop new standards of living and fighting and they permanently search for more.

The Scepter of Ur cannot be assembled, since none of the four leaders would give up his piece. But it has been heard of other relics which, found and put together, would give great mystical power to the bearer. Alas, no matter of how great that power can be or get, it does not last forever. And everyone seems to know that, because their kingdoms are getting prepared for war.

As this story is about to end and as reality is about to be unleashed to decide upon the fate of its participants, these words are mystified and enwrapped in an aura of auspicious times. The Ancient Stones are still the ones to observe and memorize the events to come…

Thus, the hunt for power begins!


PS: anyone got talent in voice acting or a nice voice like Leonidas from the movie 300? There are no money involved unfortunately, only our gratitude and a free VIP account for life. We’re thinking of an audio intro to the game in addition to the text, so that’s why I’m asking.

Posted by: on Aug 10th, 2007
In: Feedback
Having: 26 Comments
  • tigmig

    look’s good , cant wait to try this game.

    your doing great.
    best of luck.

  • Thanks for the comment tigmig. Glad you like the story.

  • tigmig

    wen do you guy’s think the game will be ready ?

    and sorry but the voice i got is more like like a telemarketer then Leonidas … lol

  • Tigmig, right now we have a designer working on the buildings of the game. We hope to launch the open bug hunting version in 10 days but it might be 2 weeks. I gave up on trying to set deadlines to be honest :). It depends on how fast he finishes the buildings. We’ll probably open the test version a few days after that.

  • Rakshy

    I like this story!!!You should not change it!!!

  • its cool…

  • markedisonchua

    It’s a good game…

    The time to construct is much relative longer than Travian…

    You can also create something that this game will have music… gif’s representing characters…

  • markedisonchua

    Please check some of your hyperlinks… It might not working…

    Ally chat please… check it… some budgering it something blinking… Please add (time) because I’m from different time zone… Baguio, Philippines…

    Your game still need some data integrity and heavy advertising…

    The game story is good… You might create some software out of it…

  • markedisonchua

    Some glimmering image is better…
    Than dark background…

  • markedisonchua

    Please put your game in “complete environment” gaming…

  • HighTek88

    well, im Greek but sound nothing like Leonidas. heheh…

  • Gertacul

    The game-play is good. However many people tend to judge a game by how it looks, I am not asking for animation but it will be more interesting if for example the gold mines and wood camps and other stuff would have pictures of them, and after every level the pictures would change to show that the building has improved. Also, the amount of game soldiers is good, but it would be better if it showed more detailed pics of them instead of helmets and stuff. In a text based game it is important to show more and better pictures of stuff, other than that, the game is pretty good. A game like Ikariam, does that pretty well, but people don’t join Ikariam because it bans you for no reason if your not online anough.

  • Gertacul

    awesome story BTW

  • ene**

    its a cool game or should I say great. i played other web based strategy online but for me this is the best.. more power to our admin. i dont like Ikariam either as Gertacul said,.

  • Darkwizard

    Looking cool

  • Darkwizard

    looking good. Sorry dont know anything about the voice u asking for

  • markedisonchua

    Is this form of alien stories??? : D :D

  • markedisonchua

    Ikariam is super-strict, Imperial Ages is friendly

  • Taterbawls

    Its a good game and great story, but if your looking to improve it you sould make it when you attack a village or abanded village you sould be able to see the villages lollity

    “Together we stand”

  • warload

    why offer vip for life when the game keep on restarting?

  • Because many people play the game more than once, even if it restarts.

  • RockOn

    Hey guys…!
    i think that one of my friend’s voice might sound like that of Leonidas’s…
    let me know where should i send in a sample of his voice…
    his is a very strong voice…
    also, i have a very good English…
    so you can count on me to give you guys good feedback regarding grammatical errors, incorrect usage, etc…



  • RockOn, please send the sample to


  • It was a great game. But, i think there are many problem that need to fixed out. That’s all. TQ

  • good and interesting

  • Billy

    why the game not working or cant register stillnot able to play?

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